It's Official?

Today was Tripp's doctor appointment.  It's official.  My son has ADD and took his first prescription medication for it today.

A little history:  His kindergarten teacher wasn't allowed to tell me that she suspected ADD.  I always thought the school would let us know so maybe I let this go on for too long. I didn't realize that they weren't allowed to say anything until I asked when I was at a meeting where she told me that the school was going to set up a behavioral modification plan for Tripp and that he was being redirected 30-50 times per day in class.  She did say, "Tripp reminds me of my son, who has ADD."  I'm glad she did.  It gave the push I needed.  Then I remembered the doctor asking me at Tripp's 5-year old well visit last year, "Are we worried about ADD yet?"  I had blown it off at the time.  He was being super crazy at the doctor's office that day.  He usually is at the doctor's office.  It is one place that really sets him off.  I was just chalking it up to him being "all boy" and having a bad obedience day.   I guess the signs were there, but I haven't had personal experience with ADD except to see it in the high school students that I teach.  Honestly, they always just seem to need more discipline at home and I thought a diagnosis of ADD gave parents a reason to not enforce simple discipline in their houses.  I feel like kind of a jerk for thinking that now.  We have certainly tried both positive and negative reinforcement techniques with Tripp include varying levels of discipline.  Nothing seems to work for more than a day or two.

Major concerns that led me to medicating:  Let me start by saying that I work in and Tripp attends a stellar school.  Many of the teachers have master's degrees, but more importantly, it is a small family-oriented school.  With only 660 in the entire K-12 district, we are all housed in the same building and we are very close knit.  Tripp's teacher was also the kindergarten teacher for my two older daughters (super well behaved, "A" students - so much different than Tripp) and I have taught both of her students as high school science students.  I don't feel like there could be a more caring option for my son.  That being said, being redirected 30-50 times in a 7 hour period has got to be damaging to a person even if it is done in the most loving manner.  Tripp desperately wants to be a "good boy".  He wants to be recognized for being good.  Unfortunately that opportunity doesn't present itself in a classroom where 17 other students are trying to learn and Tripp is distracting them every 5 minutes.  Tripp is very social and super sweet, but can't seem to control himself to be quiet at the right times.  While I understand the need to redirect him, the long term damage to his self esteem by being redirected 30-50 times per day is not acceptable to me as a parent.  If medication can help him succeed, then he can have it.

Tripp is falling behind in his school work.  He does ok in a couple of areas, but simply won't do quite a bit of his work, getting distracted by other things and leaving his work blank.  Again, I don't think this is helpful for his self esteem.  He is bound to recognize at some point that he is behind the other kids and that will make him feel bad.  If medication helps him to keep up academically, then I think we should try it.

Major concerns about medicating:  As an educator, I am a big fan of Ken Robinson who believes that our current educational system is not working for many of our students.  His ideas are fantastic.  Check out this link to his TED talk:  Link  and this one to another great talk by him illustrated by RSA: Link.  One point that he makes that I really agree with is that we shouldn't have to anesthetize children  so that they can learn sitting still when they can learn perfectly well in other ways.  For instance, Tripp can't be successful doing a simple addition worksheet, but if I had pieces of paper with numbers on them laying on the living room floor and I told him to jump on to the answer for 1 + 3, he would learn how to add quickly.  I think he would also learn if I connected the numbers a lego construction project or to a small woodworking project.  He excels in both, but standardized testing does not test on this, they only test in worksheet format so that is the way the schools have to teach it.  Even if I wanted to teach my own students this way, it wouldn't help them on their standardized tests, because that would be a format they would be unfamiliar with and funny enough, if I become a better teacher by teaching the student they way they learn best and then the students score low on a standardized test, I will be considered a poor teacher.  I understand why Tripp's wonderful teacher can't teach to the way he learns, but do I really have to medicate him because of this?  There really isn't anything wrong with him.  He just learns better when moving.  In fact, sometimes he can't think unless he is moving.  Does that mean he needs to have his mind numbed to the point that he will "sit still and be quiet"?  I clearly believe that medicating Tripp is wrong, so why am I?

Why I am trying medication:  The way it stands now, Tripp can't be successful in school without some kind of medical intervention.  He has had tons of non-medical interventions.  Nothing is working.  So, the very clear answer to me is to pull him out of school and teach him myself.  It is very clear until I look at my budget and fear the devastation it would create to our grocery budget if I quit my job to teach Tripp.  So do I feed him or do I teach him?  If medication works so that I can stay at my job, I guess we will go that route although I will feel guilty about it forever.  It medication doesn't work, then there will need to be another solution and I will be looking for that.  There are a couple of months left in the school year so we are giving this a shot.

Day one results:  We are on spring break so I don't know how the medication (Concerta, 1/3 the maximum dose for his age) affects Tripp in an academic setting.  He spent the whole afternoon playing outside with his sisters.  I did notice some differences in the interactions with his sisters.

1.  He did not negatively seek their attention much.  Usually when he is bored, he likes to mess with his sisters to get a reaction.
2.  He did not get angry with his sisters when they weren't sharing properly.  Usually he reacts with anger when they are playing unfairly.  Today he reacted with hurt and tears when his sisters were being a bit greedy with something that they weren't dividing fairly.  He also seemed much more emotional overall, crying several times today which is actually pretty rare for him.

The major effects were noticed this evening as the drug was supposed to be wearing off.  He has been overly stimulated and a bit overwhelmed with some irrational fears.  He is needing to be cuddled a lot and he can't sleep even though it is now a good 2 hours after his bedtime.  He is talking nonstop and currently worried that a bandaid may suck up all his blood and kill him.  He is insisting with tears that he will be unable to sleep tonight unless he sleeps in my bed.  I have offered him a sleeping bag next to my bed, but that isn't comforting to him.  Currently we are on the couch so he won't wake anyone with his constant talking.  My plan is to help him fall asleep and then move him to his bed so that I can go happily to my bed, but he isn't showing any sign of letting up.  He is currently insisting that I tell him what will happen if the Big Dipper falls to Earth.  I have explained that it cannot come down to Earth and is instead moving farther away from Earth.  That answer is not acceptable to him.  He keeps saying, "No mama, we are just talking about it even if it won't happen."  I don't want to explain to him that the Big Dipper is made of a fireballs bigger than our sun and it would mean certain death for the entire planet considering his current state of irrational fear.  Well, now he is discussing the likelihood of cat zombies.  I'm hoping that sleep comes eventually..........I'm so tired.........I love this little man and his creativity even if it is hurting to keep my eyes open at this point.