Well, now that I am used to my son being medicated for ADD, I have to admit that I love it. Most of my fears are gone although sometimes it still doesn't feel right to have to medicate him and if there is ever another way, I will be interested in learning about it. My son has gone from being super active to being quiet and thoughtful. Now, there is nothing wrong with active at all, but the type of activity that he was demonstrating had something wrong with it. You could tell that it just wasn't right. He still gets like this late at night when his medication has worn off. He eyes dart around the room and with a big smile on his face, he races around doing anything and everything he has ever had the impulse to do. He doesn't focus on one activity, instead racing from one thing to another knocking things over and throwing things. When he does something naughty like knock over a sibling or break something, he is immediately upset by it and apologizes profusely and you can tell that he is frustrated with himself. He can no longer tell me what he is thinking or have much of a conversation at all. Even if I get on his level and look him in the eyes, his eyes can't look back at me, instead darting around the room.
Most days, my son never gets in trouble anymore. He is 6, so he makes mistakes here and there, but I've never seen a little guy try so hard to be good all day long. When he does make a mistake, he is distraught about it often breaking down in tears and curling up in a little ball to have a little cry. I don't have to raise my voice, I just tell him what he did wrong (this week was running his finger around the plasma screen TV to see the colors change) and when he finds out he did something wrong it just breaks his little heart. He tells me that he likes his pills because they help him be a "good boy". He is proud of the way he behaves when he is medicated and he should be. He has gone from a little boy that I can barely control so I didn't take him to public places much, to a little boy that I can count on to sit quietly for an hour or more if need be (especially if I hand him the right toy - usually my iPod ;-)).
He can also communicate with me now! I get to hear everything that is going on in his head now. Sometimes he is still a little slow to get it out, but he loves telling me all sorts of things and will talk all day long about anything that is in his head. It can be exhausting! I sure love it though!
Lastly, his test scores at school jumped, doubling and tripling in a matter of weeks. He was so stalled out on his sight words and then after medication, passed four months worth of words in one week. Because we didn't medicate him until the last couple of months of Kindergarten, he has a May birthday, and he isn't too big for his age, we have decided to have him repeat Kindergarten. He could go on to 1st grade, but I know he wants to feel smart and like he is at the head of his class so I'm hoping to boost his self esteem and let him feel that success he craves by letting him try Kindergarten again.
All-in-all, medicating Tripp has been a wonderful decision. The school, his teachers, and his principal have been supportive, even saying to me that they didn't want to see his personality change (he has always been super friendly and caring - even when not medicated) and they expressed concerns about his lack of appetite (one of the side effects of the medication). They worked one-on-one with him several times per day to help catch him up. At one point before trying medication, I considered homeschooling him to help him out, but when I went to the elementary and saw what they were doing with him, I realized that I couldn't have done any better at home. He goes to a very caring school and I am lucky to have such support for my child. I also feel lucky that we have a medication that is working and that he likes for the time being. I understand it may not always go so well as he grows and changes, but at this point, the medication has made it possible for Tripp to be who he wants to be, and that is all a mother could every hope for.
